Friday, 23 August 2013

The Amazing Rejectomatic

Are you fed up of spending:
  • 6 months writing a book
  • 3 months revising it
  • 2 weeks writing a synopsis and covering letter
  • 2 hours tailoring your submission according to the agent’s instructions
  • 6 to 10 weeks waiting for a reply
Only to finally receive a form rejection?

Well, help is here at last, with the Amazing Rejectomatic! Simply enter a few details below about yourself and your book (even if it’s only an idea you had on the bus this morning) and within seconds you’ll have your very own personalised rejection letter! Print it, frame it, burn it – whatever you like and in just a fraction of the time!



Your Name:
Your Book Title:
What is the Book About? 
(ten words or less)


Your personalised rejection letter will appear here.

Please note that our agents and editors reserve the right to completely change their minds whenever it suits them. Try the Amazing Rejectomatic again, and you’ll probably get an entirely different response!

Only one thing is for sure, it’ll never be a yes.

Nick.

P.S. I'm taking another week off, so expect the next post on Friday 6th September.

25 comments:

  1. Fantastic! My friend Marjorie Wrights was thrilled with her personalised rejection for The Dragon Fancier (epic about fancy dragons). This has made her day!

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  2. The bitter taste of rejection! I was convinced "Bummy goes Boing" (The adventures of Bummy and his very bouncy bottom), an idea I've been slaving over for 2 long minutes, was going to be my ticket to literary stardom!

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    1. If blogger had a like button I'd have pressed it, John. Sounds like an excellent book.

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  3. Hilarious. This will save me so much time!

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  4. Ha ha, rolling around laughing - well worth repeat attempts. Abigail Coronary-Bypass's remarks made me snort my afternoon tea.

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  5. Ah Deepak I felt so sure Tilly the Table was right for your list... sigh.

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  6. The most lovely rejection and so fast! Thank you Rachel Rainbow but I am sure "Bunpire takes over the world" will find a place somewhere...

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  7. My husband and I were delighted to find your wonderful Rejectomatic. It has really changed our lives and we would recommend it to all other writers looking for a speedy, cheap and efficient service.
    Mrs WS, Milton Keynes

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  8. At last - painless rejection is mine! I can't thank you enough!

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  9. Right world - I'm ready for you now! After this rejection nothing can ever upset me any more.

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  10. Brilliant! I think I'll give it to my agent to make her work easier!

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    1. Clearly, I need to investigate the franchise rights...

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  11. At last, some honest feedback. Think I will give up writing and retrain as a toilet attendant.

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  12. Oh to have such a rejection in real life. I am going to submit all my work to your Rejectomatic

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  13. Seriously, Nick, you are onto something with this. I often ask my friends who are, like me, procrastinating over sending stuff out: What is the worst that can happen? What can they say?
    I'm going to recommend it to all my friends as an inocculation against self-doubt.
    (Actually got an encouraging and swift 'send the whole thing' from the agent I sent my adult crime novel to. Lesson: bite the bullet, folks. just do it.)

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  14. Lovely, Nick, just lovely. In fact it's loveliness gone mad. Uber lovely. Mega lovely in fact.

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  15. It's taken me all this time to think of a title to use in the rejectomatic!
    Brilliant thing Nick! i love it

    Actually now I've thought of a title I'm thinking - hey it's not that bad - might work on it

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  16. Wonderful. The letter has finally given me hope. I AM on the right track, after all!

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  17. I missed this before! Amazing!

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