Friday, 6 June 2014

The Massive Mash-Up Machine

Originality is tiring, isn't it? All that time spent developing richly nuanced characters in a unique world that reflects everything you're passionate about. And then, after all the months of writing and rewriting, you find no-one's interested unless you boil the whole book down to a one line pitch that makes your masterpiece sound like everything else ever written.

Well, fret no more, because the Massive Mash-Up Machine is here to do all that tiresome work for you. Building on the revolutionary technology pioneered in the Amazing Rejectomatic, this Large Hadron Collider of storytelling smashes together pre-existing books and movies to make something totally new. At the touch of a button (and at no cost to you), you'll receive an X meets Y pitch and a readymade plot synopsis that could become the next publishing sensation!

Just hit GO to spin (or respin) the wheels of fate. Once you find a story you particularly like, click Share at the bottom of the synopsis to pop up a version suitable for the comments section or for posting to social media. Do beware of getting so excited that you immediately email the synopsis to every literary agent in the country - I can take no responsibility for the fame and fortune that may result.


P.S. A couple of people have reported odd behaviour such as the reels getting out of sync. I haven't been able to reproduce these issues, so for now please try reloading the page if you encounter any problems.

  • ? ? ?
  • Harry Potter
  • The Godfather
  • The Hunger Games
  • Aliens
  • Winnie-the-Pooh
  • Pride and Prejudice
  • Die Hard
  • Captain Underpants
  • Rainbow Magic
The Massive Mash-up Machine works best in Chrome, Firefox or Safari on a PC or Mac.
This is a work of parody, and all copyrights in character names, trademarks etc. remain with their respective owners.
Fruit machine reels powered by jSlots.
Image adapted from an original photo by Abril Sicairos as licensed under Creative Commons.


  1. I enjoyed this VERY MUCH.
    Nick this again, is BRILLIANT!

  2. Oh, Mr Tigger... *swoons*
    Loved it!

    The Massive Mash-Up Machine by Nick Cross presents: Winnie-the-Pooh meets Pride and Prejudice!
    Pooh Bear is one of five siblings, all of whom their mother is keen to marry off as soon as possible. When a new landowner called Christopher Robin moves to The North Pole (which is close to their home at Hundred Acre Wood), Pooh and his older sister Kanga are forced to make their introductions. While Kanga and Christopher Robin experience an instant attraction, Pooh is far less enamoured of the condescending Tigger. Pooh forms an acquaintance with Eeyore, a former military officer claiming to have been slighted by Tigger, but Eeyore quickly turns out to be a rake and elopes with Pooh’s younger sister Lydia. The situation threatens to bring shame upon the family and ruin all the children’s chances of a good marriage, until Tigger shows his true colours by secretly funding Eeyore and Lydia’s wedding. When Pooh discovers Tigger’s part in restoring the family’s honour, he gratefully accepts his proposal of marriage.

    1. Thanks, Jennifer. While testing this (at length) I discovered that anything mashed-up with Pride & Prejudice is pretty much guaranteed to be funny!

    2. I can't wait to see the film version ;-)

  3. I think I've broken it (sorry). Aliens meets Godfather is all about Elizabeth Bennet being thrown into the Hunger Games arena.

  4. Nick, you have written quite a few excellent synopses of really quite plausible stories.